Erstellt am: 28. 11. 2015 - 06:30 Uhr

Decently Asked Questions #1 - Chief Chocolate Taster

Missed our Decent Asked Questions on the FM4 Morning Show? Get them in full here, and have fun amazing your friends with our crazy conversation topics!

Do you find yourself stuck talking to people about the same things over and over again? If so, FM4 is here to help. We introduce you to Decently Asked Questions: A quick guide to conversations you never thought you'd have.

Name:
Chief Chocolate Taster

Age:
Anyone old enough to write ‘I love chocolate’ followed by ‘please hire me.’

Appearance:
That’s not yet known, although they’ll probably be surrounded by a mountain of chocolate.

That sounds wonderful. How do I get that?
By applying to become Scottish chocolate company Mackie’s chief chocolate taster. They’re looking for somebody to design a new chocolate bar for them.

EFE/Miguel Gutierrez

Are you this mad about chocolate?

Wait! I can get rich by sitting around, eating and inventing chocolate?
Rich in chocolate, yes, but rich from money, no. For all your time spent eating chocolate, you’ll get paid in… chocolate. It sounds more like a contract the Oompa Loompas might have had with Willy Wonka.

That doesn’t sound too terrible.
Not unless you ask a doctor. They might have something less enthusiastic to say about it. Apparently sugar is our greatest health risk from food, and you’re about to invent and consume more of it. In their eyes, you might be an Al Capone of chocolate.

What? Running an underground chocolate crime syndicate?
OK. Certainly not that extreme. But they’d probably rather you didn’t take the company’s advice and spend your whole time practicing your chocolate tasting skills on the sofa.

Well, Al Capone or not, who can apply for this?
Anyone with an idea for a chocolate bar and some taste buds. It reads a little bit like a VW chief executive advert; they’ll take whoever they can get.

And you’re not kidding me? It is a serious position?
Almost. The position will exist for a year. But it was also dreamed up as a publicity stunt to advertise their new factory. As you can tell they’ve not done a bad job. The news has even made it to Austria now!

Have you got any ideas I could pitch to them?
Ooh I don’t know. A bobbly chocolate bar with raisins and dusted in icing sugar. You could call it the Kaiserbarrn!

That’s terrible!
I know, I’m sorry. You’ll have to think of something on your own.

Do think:
I love chocolate!

Don’t think:
Do I get health insurance?