Erstellt am: 3. 5. 2013 - 12:41 Uhr
Canadian Solutions to Austrian Problems
As Canadians, we know all about problem-solving, because you know what happens in Canada if you're NOT good at it?! You die, that's what happens!
the4mahers1997 on flickr, 2011
* - And if all that weren't enough, some years ago we elected a right-wing lunatic named Stephen Harper to be our prime minister. Twice!1!
Canada is a rough country. Just everything wants to eat you, from hungry grizzly bears in the Rocky Mountains, to hungry polar bears in the Northern Territories. There are are Americans walking around everywhere with their American guns, and meanwhile there are snowdrifts bigger than your house that you can fall into year-round!!1!*
Having said that, most living Canadians are alive. And not only that, we are healthy and well-fed (most maple trees have taps attached to them, and the best Canadian bacon is now grown in a lab). Our national sport, ice hockey, not only keeps us in shape, but also allows us to express our most brutal and violent traits in a controlled environment, so that when we exit the hockey rink, all that is left to express is understanding, sound judgement, and an all-inclusive love of one another.
Which is why Austria needs us, now more than ever.
Svadilfari on flickr, 2009
As FM4's Austro-Canadian representative, I have brought together my circle of special advisors (incl. a Canadian hockey player, a really polite guy, and an emancipated woman) to take a good clear look at some of the biggest problems facing Austria today.
alexindigo on flickr, 2006
You're welcome!