Standort: / Meldung: "Ain´t no meteorite like a motherfucker"

Charles Maynes Moscow

Journalist in Moscow

16. 2. 2013 - 16:23

Ain´t no meteorite like a motherfucker

When a meteorite ripped across the Ural Mountains sky Friday morning, the trail of smoke and flame provoked fascination, terror, and - let's face it - a whole lot of f-bombs.

The insuing impact - a massive explosion heard as far away as Kazhakstan - shattered windows, pockmarked rooftops, and generally sent residents scattering in towns across central Russia. Local officials report injuries to nearly 1000 people. Thankfully, most were minor.

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But once the windows are replaced and the scratches have healed, the Urals meteorite may best be remembered as the moment when the wonders of the universe met the wonders of Russian 'mat'.

'Mat' - the Russian word encompassing all utterances vulgar - is built around endlessly creative combinations and derivations of 'ebat' (literally, 'to fuck') 'pizda' ('cunt') blyad ('whore') 'xiu' ('dick'), and 'suka' ('bitch'). It's an art in and of itself, with dips and bends in enunciation that lend color, shade, and meaning.

And as seen from cell phones recordings and Russia's curious culture of dashboard car cameras posted online, yesterday's meteorite had our friends in the Urals riffing as only they know how.

Russian speakers may argue the finer points of translation - English, alas, is the Russian language's poorer cousin when it comes to 'mat' - but I've included a few favorite clips below.

Test your ear and follow along.

Work can wait

"Fuck! What the fuck was that? Did you hear that fucking explosion? Fuck that. I'm going to no fucking construction site today. Fuck me. Dudes that is the shit! I nearly lost my shit when I saw that bitch! No fucking way. Sergei I'm not fucking going. Let's get the fuck out of here. Damn that bitch the sun is a motherfucker. Fuck construction. Fuuuuuck....."

Have a dash cam, therefore I am

"Holy shit. What the fuck is that? No way, it's a fucking meteorite. No fucking way. Unfuckingbelievable. Fuck, I probably got that on my dash camera. Fuck. Unfuckingbelievable..."

Who doesn´t love a greatest hits collection?