Erstellt am: 2. 1. 2011 - 23:41 Uhr
Johnny Planet: Rückblick 2010/2
* - At the bottom, you will find some wonderful live audio recordings, from the Morning Show and Reality Check features I produced, whilst traveling the world in 2010.
Johnny Bliss, 2010
Continuing from where we left off just about a week ago, we are looking at some of the many cities I travelled to whilst making reports for FM4, just in 2010. I came to many very useful conclusions: for example I believe I know which city is most likely to survive a Zombie Apocalypse, and which Talking Heads (or David Byrne) song most fits for each city.
I have devised an elaborate rating system, involving three super-computers working at once (and quite a few broad generalizations), to tell you the most important things you should know, should you decide to go to some of my top cities of 2010.
We're doing this alphabetically, even though chronologically would probably make more sense. Last time we made it all the way to the letter R, so with no further ado, here is the letter S...
Stockholm
Johnny Bliss, 2010
Late this summer, for no particular reason, I went to Stockholm for a week of frollicking good fun. As I documented in this story, I had some fantastic Couchsurfing hosts who lived fairly central, which made it very easy for me to explore this big and beautiful city.
With very nice architecture, a beautiful view of the water, and green parks to compliment its funky and fashionable scene, in my opinion Stockholm was one of the top cities of the year, perhaps even leaving Berlin in the dust... that is, except for its high prices, which sucked, and perhaps a slightly less-accessible art and music scene to boot.
Talking Heads song: What A Day That Was (The Catherine Wheel/Stop Making Sense).
The song I would probably consider to be the David Byrne equivalent of Lou Reed's "A Perfect Day", it perfectly epitomizes the way I felt after every day in Stockholm. All the colours and smells and sounds of the city in late August really left you at the end of a long day feeling fulfilled. I believe I said to myself, "What a day that was!" at least once on that trip.
Johnny Bliss, 2010
Beauty of the Promenade: 7.5/10
Considering how much I seem to have liked Stockholm, you might be wondering why the promenade has not gotten a higher score. The water is certainly beautiful, you can walk along it most of the time, and there are a lot of great places to sit and enjoy the view. The beaches, however, were not amazing. If I'm completely honest, I have seen better.
Romance of the Public Transport System: 9/10
Johnny Bliss, 2010
I believe you could film Alice in Wonderland in Stockholm's subways, or at least some sort of post-modern take on Peter Pan. Most, or at least many, are in subterranean caves, painted a variety of colours and complete with murals, sculptures, and other creative flourishes. I actually went on a subway tour, just getting out at each stop and checking out the scenery.
It is very romantic. Maybe not Hugh Grant-Julia Roberts romantic, but who wants their romance cheesy anyway?
Zombie Apocalypse Potential: High.
Stylish, cosmopolitan European capitals tend to be good for zombie apocalypses - just look at London. The mixture of fashion and undeath is particularly poignant, and any self-respecting zombie deserves to be seen eating brains in style. A nice pair of running shoes can't hurt either; good luck escaping from the one wearing Pumas.
Johnny Bliss, 2010
Oh, and as romantic as the public transport system is, it could very easily instead play host to terror. Imagine this, if you will; there is a major earthquake, and an avalanche of rocks traps you in a subway car, somewhere in the middle of a tunnel.
Thankfully, the falling rocks have also made visible some previously unexplored caverns on either side... unfortunately, as you discover while wandering around in the darkness, they also play host to Zombies!!
Just saying.
Tel Aviv
Wili_hybrid @ Flickr
On one hand, Tel Aviv is totally chilled-out and relaxed; walking on the beach in the warm sun, you hear some young guys with guitars strumming and singing Bob Marley. Go out to any restaurant, cafe, bar or night club, and you meet friendly alternative artsy people like in any other modern city.
On the other hand, fighter jets constantly fly overhead and there are military representatives everywhere with big guns. As relaxed as the vibe is in this city, the country is at war, and there is no escaping that.
Also (I felt), there are awkward moments in conversation. Just try bringing up the Palestinian conflict with some of these young artsy people; if you aren't entirely behind Israel's land re-settlement policies, I guarantee you will hear some things that will make you uncomfortable.
Megiddo @ Flickr
Talking Heads song: This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
Most of the people I met are very sympathetic and intelligent, although many seem also to be shockingly racist. I guess it must be very strange growing up in a region where all your neighbours kind of hate you.
It's very easy for me to frown upon their attitudes toward their own neighbours, with my perspective as an outsider who has never had to live in this situation. What a mess. I can only hope they will eventually find their way to a fair and just peace in the Holy Land for all parties involved.
Beauty of the Promenade: 8/10
Incredible beaches, warm water, fantastic sunsets, lots of nice outdoor cafes, and a relaxed vibe.... Fighter jets, military, big guns. Honestly, if it wasn't for all the war stuff, this amazing beachscape would warrant 10/10, although I suspect that the summer is appallingly hot.
Another note - downtown new city, there are too many ugly hotels and apartment buildings looming up inland. On the other hand, if you walk far enough along the shore, you get to the ancient Arabic city of Jaffa, and there the buildings have much more allure.
ianloic @ Flickr
Zombie Apocalypse Potential: Very Low.
Are you kidding? The military presence is huge and well-equipped, and would make short work of any burgeoning zombie horde.
Vancouver
Another fantastic seaside city, Vancouvs has the added advantage of not being at war with anybody (except maybe Toronto). Also because it is the city I grew up in, there was the small risk that my childhood memories would blind me from the realities of the city today.
Fortunately there is so much rapid development going on, that there are large swathes of the city I practically don't recognize at all.
Johnny Bliss, 2010
Talking Heads song: The Big Country.
Vancouver is still a very beautiful city, surrounded by amazing mountains, rainforest, and ocean, but all the building and tearing down in the region makes it very difficult for me to regard it as any sort of 'home' to pine about.
It also doesn't help that I've lost touch with exactly everyone I knew as a kid and a young teenager, excluding my immediate family. All of the friends I have in Vancouver now are relatively *new* ones. Fortunately these usually turn out to be very lovely people.
Time it takes to become friends with the entire population: Depends.
The thing about Canada is, culturally speaking, I often feel it is like a small European country, or maybe two, but just spread out across a very great distance. I get the feeling that a lot of Canadians are constantly in transit, and constantly moving from one region to the other, so if you were to attempt to become friends with the entire population of Vancouver, you would probably simply end up being friends with most people around Canada. This is because so many people frequently move around, and there are, after all, only around 36 million people living there.
Beauty of the Promenade: 9/10
Johnny Bliss, 2010
Honestly, during the summer there may be nothing in the world prettier than walking along the Vancouver Seawall, with Stanley Park on one side and English Bay on the other. The beaches are covered with giant mossy rocks, fossilized tree trunks, and old destroyed rock stairs. It is easy inspiration for a painter or nature photographer, as nearly every angle has postcard potential, especially as the sun is going down on a sunny day. If you walk far enough, the green Lion's Gate Bridge looms above you - there will probably be several freighter ships going by at that time - and at night it is very, very pretty, all lit up like a Christmas tree.
My pre-existing prejudice with regard to the Vancouver seaside has become rather obvious, so we'll move on after just one final point: I gave it a 9/10 rather than 10/10 because much of the year the weather is dark, cloudy, and very wet. Although that is actually why the nature is so damn green, at that time of year it can also be depressing, and could very well dampen (pun intended) one's mood whilst attempting to stroll.
Johnny Bliss, 2010
Zombie Apocalypse Potential: Very High.
The potential of a zombie apocalypse happening in Vancouver is so high that it has, indeed, already happened. I was there in person to cover it back in late February, during the Winter Olympics, and if you care about the future of all Humanity, I urge you to listen to my coverage of it in the podcast (see the bottom of this page).
Vienna
And finally I did end up back in Vienna... sometimes when I return after three or four months on the road, for just a couple days or a week, I feel still that I am in a foreign city, but mostly it is the place I return to when I am longing for that sense of familiarity and comfort I associate with home.
Talking Heads song: Once in a Lifetime.
I'm not saying that I don't occasionally wake up, and ask myself, "well, how did I get here?" -- naturally, as much as I love my nice home in Hütteldorf, it is a home that I have come to, not one where I was born.
I think that is an important distinction: I will probably never cease to be impressed by the European social welfare system, nor by the particular brand of stiff upper lip and deadpan humour that is peculiar to the Austrian people. So many things one would usually take for granted, still can easily startle me, throw me out of auto-pilot, and force me to look at the world again as an outsider. This is not a bad thing, in my opinion: a little alienation a day keeps the doctor away.
Johnny Bliss, 2010
Oh hey, .. did you ever watch the video of Kermit the Frog covering Once In A Lifetime? It's amazing. You must watch it sometime.
Time it takes to become friends with the entire population:
I dunno. Have we met yet?
Relative vs. Absolute Poverty: Relative.
There is to some extent a certain poverty here. Many students and unemployed people I've known cannot afford a particularly diverse diet. I haven't known anyone here who is starving, but the situation can be quite difficult for ex-pats and immigrants. Meanwhile, the average paycheck has much higher taxes on it than in Canada and the United States, so it's insanely difficult to make a lot of money.
On the other hand, general expenses are also quite a lot lower and public services are much more inclusive. From public transportation to socialized medicine, our taxes fund a functioning (if flawed) system. It is almost surreal how Not Poor we are, in the greater scheme of things.
Best place for the Talking Heads to stage a reunion:
Johnny Bliss, 2010
I know it's selfish, but I really think David Byrne should come out to one of my house parties in Hütteldorf. We will have to arrange for somebody to impersonate Brian Eno over the telephone, to effectively invite him; once he arrives we can delay his departure by declaring that Mr. Eno is on the subway with Andy Mackay, and will be here shortly.
The other Heads will be a bit more difficult. Perhaps the party should be a costume party (perhaps the theme should be... We are the Talking Heads but Secretly Batman??!), because then it will take longer for David Byrne to recognize that he is talking to the real Tina Weymouth and Jerry Harrison.
It is a very tricky situation because, last I heard, the Talking Heads were on pretty bad terms with one another. I am, however, convinced that if we can get them all drinking Glühwein and in a good mood, the old magic will return. Perhaps they will be so grateful that they will even come together to release an Austrian-themed album, complete with David Byrne singing lyrics in a Niederösterreichischer Dialekt.
Can I get a, "Yes we can"!?
Johnny Bliss, 2010
On the 26th of this month, I hosted an FM4 Connected Johnny's Journeys Special looking back on a year of traveling around the world. I visited erupting Icelandic volcanoes, Springtime Winter Olympics, and South African Temporary Relocation Areas in my search for the truth. You can find the podcast from said program here.
Like all great movies, my Johnny's Journeys special also includes bonus deleted scenes, alternative endings, and director's commentary. Here, for your anxious ears, I recommend you listen to this special, podcast-only...
Johnny's Journeys Rückblick 2010... Deleted Scenes
With live cuts from the radio
1.) Olympics (Vancouver, BC)
2.) Paralympics (Vancouver, BC/London, UK)
3.) Never Went South Festival (Isafjordur, IS)
4.) Eyjafjallajökull Volcano (Reykjavik, IS)
5.) Israeli Graffiti Artist Know Hope (Tel Aviv, IL)
6.) FIFA World Cup (Cape Town, SA)
7.) Gay Games (Cologne, DE)
8.) Skansen (Stockholm, SE)
9.) Puffins, Fish, Underwear (Reykjavik/Westmann Islands, IS)
10.) Postcard (Vienna, AT)